Can Boredom Be a Sign of Trauma Recovery in Therapy?

In his essay, On Being Bored, Psychoanalyst Adam Philips defines boredom as a “state of suspended anticipation in which things are started, and nothing begins, the mood of diffuse restlessness which contains the most absurd and paradoxical wish, the wish for a desire.” I have been thinking that even though this kind of boredom can feel so agitating, can it also signify a precipice of recovery for a person with trauma?

There is always a lot going on with someone who is navigating life with trauma. The body and the mind are constantly on the edge, too high or too low, and so much energy goes into trying to stay present and regulated. Simple things feel hard, life is always throwing curveballs, and the person is one emergency away from a full-blown crisis.

Usually when someone like this enters therapy, it is when they cannot handle life on their own anymore. A therapist’s task is hard but identifiable: they hold the client through their distress, confusion, rage, despair, and repetitions. They provide them a patient listening ear, build hope, and teach skills to manage complex emotions. If things go well, the patient’s reflective capacity increases over time, and so does their ability to deal with life’s challenges.

So what happens when things start to stabilize …. for good? It is a significant adjustment for a patient who may report feeling lost, numb, or confused. They do not know what is going on but something has changed.

Is it possible that this patient is feeling a little bored? They have outgrown older ways of living but something new has not arrived yet.

Perhaps sometimes boredom in psychotherapy is life waiting to emerge. Under the whims of a confused identity, maybe the desire for something new is blooming. One does not know what’s next for them but a different kind of life is already afoot.

Then I imagine the task of psychotherapy is to create a space where boredom can be tolerated so that inspiration can emerge. Like a parent who is encouraging a child to play, the therapist has to wait until something draws their patient’s attention, builds their desire to experiment, and lets them develop an interest to immerse themselves in it (even if to remove themselves later).

I’m thinking that a patient with trauma would also need to learn that boredom is different from stagnation. And as much as they need to tolerate their boredom, they would also need to build capacity to hold their desire, indulge in their playful impulses, and even that requires the presence of a loving psychotherapist whose presence assures engagement and safety but is non-intrusive. The task of therapy again becomes difficult: but this time in pursuit of pleasure and aliveness.